Attn: Woman who came in the store today and harshly reprimanded her small son for wanting a $3 pair of neon pink kiddie sunglasses. ("What," she snorted, "you wanna look like a little queer?")

I hope your son grows up to be a great big flaming ~fabulous~ faggot. I hope he falls in love with and marries a huge hulking hairy bear of a man and prospers in domestic bliss with a minimum of six adopted children. I hope he's nice enough to pity you.

Also, could you not snatch our merchandise quite so roughly out of your kid's hands next time? Just because we don't make you buy it if you break it doesn't mean you should actively seek to do so, thanks.